Poor Fletcher
by JJ Dragon
Summary: Set after fletcher's birthday story. JJ and Fletcher are always yelling at eachother when playing on SSBB. So what happens when Sheik and Zelda are no longer character options? You do NOT want to know what happened when Fletcher called Sheik a boy...
1. SSBB

**POOR FLETCHER…**

**Chapter 1:**

**SSBB**

"STUPID IDIOT!" Fletcher yelled at JJ.

"You got owned!" JJ laughed.

"No fair!" Fletcher wailed "Mario out wins Zelda!"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because girls are better than boys!"

"Sure…"

"It's true! I can kick your ass any day!"

"On your own?"

"HELL YEAH!"

JJ punched Fletcher in the mouth. He flew across the room and landed on the opposite sofa. They had been playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl (SSBB). JJ had been Zelda and Sheik, while Fletcher had been Mario.

"I swear that Sheik is a boy…" Fletcher commented, choosing a character. This time he chose Ike.

"No! Sheik is a girl! Sheik is Zelda! It doesn't take a genius to work it out when one of Zelda's special moves is to turn into Sheik!" JJ exclaimed, choosing Zelda and Sheik… again.

Valkyrie heard the noise and rolled her eyes. Fletcher and JJ arguing… AGAIN! Valkyrie swore that she'd got a migraine thanks to those two. Valkyrie sighed and walked downstairs.

"Ha!" JJ exclaimed "Sheik strikes again!"

"Cheater." Fletcher mumbled. JJ ignored him.

"Fletch, you've never won a single round on this game!" JJ told him "You SUCK."


	2. Where to begin?

**Chapter 2:**

**Where to begin?**

"I DON'T SUCK!" Fletcher wailed.

"Sure you don't…" JJ said, sarcastically whilst getting Sheik to kick the crap out of Ike.

"Just let me kill you once!" He wailed, again.

"Nope."

"You're not a very nice person…"

"Doesn't take a genius to work that out."

"What?! You're not supposed to admit it!"

"It gets you worked up, so it's funny."

"Girls are dumb…"

"DO YOU WANT ME TO HIT YOU OR SHOOT YOU?!?!?!?! SERIOUSLY, SAMUS BAZOOKA IS CALLING FROM THE CUPBOARD AND I'M SOOOO TEMPTED TO GO AT LET HER OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Fletcher gaped, but said nothing. JJ turned back to the screen. The words 'GAME' appeared. Suddenly, some music came from the TV and an announcer told them the winner was…

….

…

Sheik…

Valkyrie walked downstairs and saw the two idiots. JJ was shooting Fletcher with her 'Zero Suit Samus' BB gun, whilst Fletcher was trying to figure out how to work 'Samus Bazooka'. Valkyrie had heard enough. She walked over to Fletcher, grabbed his arm and dragged him over to JJ (Who'd stopped shooting because she and Valkyrie were really good friends and JJ didn't like it when her friends got hurt. Fetcher obviously wasn't in her 'friend roster').

"CAN'T YOU TWO JUST GET ALONG?!?!?!?!?!" Valkyrie almost screamed. Fletcher shook his head.

"She bullies me!" He wailed, hugging Valkyrie. JJ pulled him off.

"Hello! This is slight Valduggery not Fletcherie!" She hissed in his ear. Fletcher was about to deny it, when Zero Suit Samus BB gun was pressed into his back.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Fletcher hissed back.

"Making sure you agree to Valduggery not Fletcherie." She whispered.

"OK!OK!" He hissed, raising his arms in a surrender. She put the gun in her pocket and slid Samus Bazooka back into her cupboard with Landmaster cannon.

"Are you two going to play nice, or do I have to burn the wii?" Valkyrie asked summoning a flame and putting it near the wii.

"NO!" Fletcher squealed.

"Well do whatever you say, Ma'am!" JJ said, saluting. Valkyrie let the flame go out. Suddenly, the front door opened and in came Skulduggery and Solomon Wreath. Skulduggery turned to JJ.

"JJ Dragon this is-" He began but JJ cut him off.

"I know! It's Solomon Wreath." JJ said, pulling her Zero Suit Samus gun out of her pocket and holding it so it was pointing at Wreath.

"He kidnapped me!"

Everyone turned to Wreath. JJ laughed.

"OH MY GOD! YOU LOT WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING!!!!!!" JJ said, laughing like a mad scientist. She pocketed her gun and sat down on the sofa. Skulduggery looked at her.

"That wasn't funny JJ." He said, sourly.

"Was too!" JJ said, laughing even more. Skulduggery decided to ignore her and turned to Wreath.

"Let's get this over with." Skulduggery said. Wreath nodded. JJ was STILL laughing like a maniac on red bull. Skulduggery and Solomon walked to the opposite ends of the room. Skulduggery summoned a flame and threw it at Solomon. Solomon conjured a dark ball and threw it at the fireball. They bounced off each other and…

…

…

Hit the Wii. There were two screams. JJ and Fletcher stared as their Wii fizzed and cackled.

"YOU IDIOTS!" They yelled, simultaneously.

"sorry!" Wreath said, raising his arms.

"LANDMASTER!!!!" JJ yelled and ran into her cupboard. She pulled out Landmaster cannon and aimed it a Wreath. Samus Bazooka was aimed at Skulduggery. There was an earth-shattering crash as Solomon was knocked over by the Landmaster BB bullet and Skulduggery got shot with Samus Bazooka. Unknown to them, a gold light came from the Wii and floated upstairs…

Once the argument had finished, Valkyrie walked upstairs. JJ and Fletcher were playing the Wii. Solomon and Skulduggery were being healed by Kenspeckle.

"You all must be SO reckless around JJ." Kenspeckle grumbled.. "Whenever she's with me, she is very polite!"

"Are you sure that was JJ?" Skulduggery asked. Kenspeckle scowled.

"You're treating her wrong!" He retorted. "It's YOU that causes the problems, not JJ. Look what happens to Valkyrie!"

"WOULD YOU LOT PLEASE QUIT TALKING ABOUT ME?!?!?!" Yelled an angry JJ. "IT'S HIGHLY DISTURBING!"

***

JJ sat down after having a rant. Thanks to JJ good mechanical skills (and Fletcher's suggestion of offering the Wii some cookies and milk) the Wii was working again! Fletcher picked Kirby. JJ plugged her nunchuk in and scanned the characters for Sheik.

"What????" JJ said, aloud.

"What's happened?" Fletcher asked.

"Sheik and Zelda have gone."

"Yeah right! I'm not falling for that one."

"No! Seriously!" Fletcher scanned through the characters.

"Sheik can't have disappeared!" Fletcher said. Suddenly, there was a scream from Valkyrie's room and a scared looking Valkyrie ran downstairs.

"THERE'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Valkyrie yelled. Skulduggery, Fletcher, JJ, Valkyrie and Solomon ran upstairs. In Valkyrie's room, was someone familiar, sitting on the bed. Fletcher gaped.

"So THAT'S were Sheik went!" He said. Sheik stood up at her name and looked at the group.

"WOW." Was all JJ could say.


End file.
